Starting "fresh."

Things are precious to me. I've noticed that about myself, especially now that I'm older and trying to act more...responsible?  It doesn't matter if it's a half-filled notebook, or a scrap of paper with beloved names written down, or a faded receipt from when I purchased my first betta fish over 15 years ago. These things aren't just "things."  They're sacred words written down. They represent different times in my life.  They hold the power of remembering.


Despite this, I decided as I was trying to command order of my room, that it was time to let go.  The half-filled notebooks are worthless now.  The information that I wanted to learn has long gone from my mind, and I'm not going to spend the time reading notes.

 I'll start again.

I had mentioned the other day about how I'm a half-assed sort of person.  I want to know about a lot of things, but I never complete my "studies."  What I didn't realize was that keeping these old notes aren't helping me.  I don't review the things that I've already written, mainly because I forget that I've already written them down. So, I pull out a fresh notebook and start again.  So why keep the old ones?  They only take up space and are subconsciously hanging over my head, overwhelming me.  I've got enough crap that overwhelms me on the daily; my interests should never be part of that problem.

So, I made the decision to throw out the old notes to make room for the new.  As an adult I'm more organized *laughs*, than I was when I first started out.  I think that I'm capable of keeping better notes and being more detailed.


I've also thrown out my Daily Reading notebooks and looseleaf papers that were scattered in all sorts of places. They don't mean anything to me now because I didn't write anything detailed. I'm in a different place now with tarot than when I kept those journals.  I'm not a professional and I wouldn't even call myself experienced, but when I take the time and really focus, I am proficient with the meanings.  I always cared too much about the book's definition of what the cards meant and thought that I'd have to memorize 72 card meanings that were already established.  I'm not good at memorizing things, so that never worked out for me. And yup, you guessed it, overwhelmed me.


So, I'll begin my tarot studies again with a fresh eye.  I'll make more progress this way.


I also want to get rid of the clutter.  There are things that I don't need to display but that I don't want to throw away.  I'll pack them up and save them for the future.  I want to minimize the clutter in my home, and hopefully, that will help with the endless feeling of being overtaken by everything.  Maybe it will help ease the restlessness that I'm always feeling.  I already feel a little better having thrown out the small pile I did.  So it seems like a promising endeavor.

That would be awesome!