Going to move forward.

I've been doing a lot of thinking since my last post.  I've actually started 3 different blog posts and then just deleted them because they're not important enough.  But blogging is something that I really wanted to get into.  So I've decided to just push myself through and post what I plan on posting regardless of if it's important in the scheme of things or not.

I just don't want to avoid or ignore the state of the world and the terrible things that have happened...that continue to happen.  I don't want to be a person who knows that there are these things happening but doesn't address them...because I genuinely care about what's going on and I care about the people who have been affected.

Stuggles

I'm struggling again with this blog.  With everything that's been happening in France, (and the world), the little things that I'd talk about here are so unimportant compared to all of this.

I live in my own world where everyone should get along.  Where we don't fight and kill each other.  I live in a world where there is no hate.  Could you imagine what that would actually be like?  How wonderful life would truly be if we could all just stand together and be happy?

I can't wrap my head around the way some people think.  I can't make sense of their declarations and decisions.

No one should be afraid to live their lives. This shouldn't be happening in our "educated" world.

I'm not getting into it here.  It's not going to matter.  These angry people aren't going to read my blog and say, "You know what, Yarrow has a point.  It's stupid to keep on the way that we have been."

My thoughts are with the people of the world who suffer and have suffered because of other people's anger and hateful hearts.  I constantly hope that there will come a day where we can all see the bigger picture and the benefit of actually being united with our fellow man, regardless of race, religion, gender and whatever other attribute that people pick on.  We are all one.

Cruelty Free

I'm trying to be more conscientious of the products I buy.  It doesn't make sense to me that companies are still testing on animals.  I never really paid much attention to labels and things like that but now that's what I seem to be doing.

Mostly all of the products I was using were testing on animals.  It was frustrating and disappointing. I seriously wondered if it was worth it. It's not easy locating cruelty free things in the stores I go to but I really am trying.  

I'm not a vegan or a vegetarian.  So I guess in a sense I'm a hypocrite.  Why is it not ok for a product to be tested on an animal but killing one for food is fine?  Essentially, it's not. However, I personally believe that animals provide a protein that my body craves as I get older.  I will do my best to start researching places that butcher meat humanly.  (Yes, there is such a thing.)  Who knows? Maybe as I do my research I'll find that I don't really like the whole butchering process and go off meat all together.  But one step at a time.

I'm also not going to sit here and tell people that they need to boycott every company that tests on animals.  Mostly because it's not going to matter.  If people haven't boycotted by now, knowing that it's being done, they're not going to listen to me.  I can only worry about myself. I can bring to light what I'm finding out and if someone comes across it and is affected enough to make a change, then wonderful.

http://features.peta.org/cruelty-free-company-search/index.aspx


That link is to search for brands that are cruelty free.  Or if you are currently using a brand you can type it in to see if it's cruelty free or not.

I'm also subscribed to Vegan Cuts beauty box. What I'm going to start doing is share/review the items that I've received through them, as well as the products that I've found on my own.  I know that there are tons of beauty blogs out there but it will give me something new to talk about.  This isn't going to be a blog that focuses on beauty mind you, but I think it will be nice to change things up every few posts.  There will even be pictures.  Woohoo!  

~Yarrow

Having one of those days

Apparently this is going to be my week of dealing with stupid people.   I'm not perfect. I'm annoying but man I tell you, some people go around constantly thinking that everything they do is gold and we should all be thankful to the Divine that they walk among us.

Or then there's the people who like to think that they're doing you a favor. Meanwhile, they've done absolutely nothing to enhance your day.


Today is going to be a headphones in both ears kind of day for sure. 

I'd give for instances, but then I'll start cussing and there's no reason to get so worked up and waste energy on these people.  Just needed a quick vent.


 
 

Unsolicited Advice

It's so hard not putting my two cents in lately.  I was never one to offer up thoughts or opinions but lately I feel like that's all I'm doing.  No one seems to mind but it still bothers me.  I don't want people to think that I'm telling them how to live their lives.

Though if I'm honest, I'm probably doing it because no one ever asks me my opinion and I'm getting to the point where I'm tired of being quiet or it's simply just how a conversation is kept going.  You can't ask someone how they're doing and then when they tell you a sad story just say, "Oh. Ok then." and yammer on about your life.  That's just rude.

I never tell people what they should do exactly because that's something that annoys me when people try to do it to me.  So I'm trying to find ways of sharing tips with people without it coming off as instructions.  It's not an easy balance though.

Most people don't care I've realized.  They just speak to hear themselves talk.  It's amazing what people say to each other in every day conversation.  I don't want to be THAT person.

It's hard to explain.  Maybe one day I'll figure out the right words and revisit this topic but for now, I just wanted to get the thought out there.

(This is why I should never have stepped out of my hermit-like habits.)

Holiday Season

I feel like when I was younger, time moved slowly.  The two months off from school in the summer felt like five.  Why does that change as you get older?  I feel like I was just planning Thanksgiving and preparing for Christmas.  It's insane how fast time is moving...a little depressing and scary too.

I do love this season though.  October through December are my favorite months. I love all the different flavors that Starbucks has. (Yes, I even love the fact that everything is pumpkin flavored!) I don't know why some people get annoyed by it.  Unless you're a person who hates pumpkin flavor of course.  This is the only time of the year that I shell out such a crazy amount of money for a coffee. (C'mon Starbucks...seriously?!)  It's my segue into "holiday mode" and has become a tradition.

Now is the time that I start putting myself on a cleaning schedule as I host Thanksgiving.  It's a big house to clean and there's only one me, so it takes me some time.  I try not to rush through Thanksgiving even though I don't really think we should have made it a holiday.  (Not getting into politics now though.)  I celebrate this time of year because I'm thankful for a lot of things, however, it's also a time for reflection.  I try to remember and honor my ancestors in my own small way.  I'm the only pagan in my family so I go about things a little differently.

Of course all the while planning Thanksgiving, I'm thinking about Christmas.  I try to get my shopping done early but of course that never happens either.  

I know that this year I want to make a conscious effort to have my gift shopping done by the end of November.  I'd like to enjoy the Christmas season instead of stressing out and watching it zoom past me before I had a chance to sit and immerse myself in it. I would also like to have a small Yule ritual, which is something that I've not been able to do since I started down this path. (Over 10 years ago.)

This is also a sad time for me.  I've lost two people who loved this time of the year as much as I do.  I miss our conversations and planning.  Also, a dear friend of mine celebrated his birthday on Christmas Day and he's no longer here either. I always have to make an effort to remain happy and cheerful now that these people are no longer here to celebrate and enjoy.  But this is life.  It goes on and so must we.

So here's to hoping I stay focused and energized!

Creativity ramble

I'm envious of creative people.  You know who I'm talking about,  the people who can sit down to draw, paint, write and craft what's in their minds and have it come to fruition quickly.  It's a confidence crash when I see other people's work.  I get envious but never jealous...aside from that period in my life where I refused to read Harry Potter on principle. So much time wasted when I could have immersed myself in that world and purchased all the trinkets that the stores were selling.  *sigh*  Ah well, lesson learned.

Seriously though, I have so many ideas in my head. I'm not an artist; I can't draw at all yet 50% of what I want to do involves drawing.  My problem is that I'm a perfectionist.  I want things to look their best from the start.  Realistically that's impossible, especially for someone like me who does everything halfheartedly.
My intentions are always good, and I aim to give any project 100%, but as soon as a line or a sentence turns out wonky I shut down.  I grumble and complain and basically go on a tangent and swear off everything. It's a bit dramatic, to be honest.  It's also frustrating.  Clearly you can't have things looking perfect if you've dedicated zero time to the process.  You have to be willing to practice, and I'm too restless to sit and learn basics.

I'm working on it though. Little by little.

Netflix: How it turned me into a procrastinator.

I love Netflix.  I love almost everything about Netflix.  I've seen movies I never even knew existed. I've binged watched some awesome t.v. shows.  I've had marathons with my favorite actors/actresses.

It has become "my thing".  My guilty pleasure.  My drug of choice. (Seriously...I'm addicted to it.)

The downside to this glorious invention is that I spend more time watching it than I do anything else.
I've got projects I need to work on.  Books I want to read.  Grown up chores I need to do. I'm wasting valuable hours here!  (Though really, is it a waste? What else do I have going on?)

I'm not one of those people that can watch an episode and walk away.  I wish I was though.  I wish that I could have an hour of Netflix time and the rest dedicate to other things.  It was part of my New Years resolution but that didn't happen.  The other part was to play more video games.  (Don't judge, I was trying to find something I could stick with. I was tired of being a failure at all those other self-improvement resolutions.) But Netflix even trumped gaming. I'll try again for 2016.

I'll firmly tell myself as I'm driving home from work, that once I get home I'm taking care of "business" first. Then I can watch all the Netflix I want.  But by the time I get home I'm exhausted and need a good sit down.  The next thing I know it's dinner time and I just wasted nearly 3 hours watching a sitcom about people with actual lives.  *sigh*

I even considered cancelling my Netflix subscription for a few months to get myself out of the habit, then laughed at myself for being ridiculous.  I just need to gain some willpower and self control. I know that I have it somewhere.

~Yarrow